( TCK stands for "Third Culture Kid" and in this case I'm applying it to missionary kids, whom are often TCKs - and I am one of them. )


"If someone were to ask me, 'From your experience as a therapist and friend of [TCKs], what do you see as the [TCKs] greatest need?' I would reply, beyond the shadow of a doubt...that they need to be comforted  and helped to understand what it means to be a person."

- Sharon Willmer 


(excerpt from "The Third Culture Kid Experience" by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken. Just a glance at what's going on in my brain this week.)

The Broken Pot (Part Two) "In Him was life..."

(If you haven't read my previous post"The Broken Pot (Part I)" please feel free to do so, now )

Over the past month or two, I've been thinking a lot about transparency; I've been wondering "how much is too much" when sharing with others about my heart. I have had warnings from friends and family that I share too openly - that I allow people whom aren't even close friends, to hear about some of the more difficult things I've gone through in life. And well, for a while, I really tried to be more "shallow" in my conversations.

But I've rethought that. Because the thing is, it's just not about me.

I mean, it goes without saying that I shouldn't be exposing my open wounds and asking people to pour on the salt. But, I've decided that when it comes to relating to people, and doing what matters most - to love people loudly ; actively - as to allow Christ's healing mercy to shine on them, we need to let people see our wounds. Because without wounds, there is no need for healing. And if I've had no need for healing, I've had no pain. And for each of you who has experienced life - and the pain that inevitably comes with it - you therefore would have no way of relating to me.

But because I live in this fallen world, I've had wounds. But better yet, I've had healing too - and that, is worth talking about - with anyone who's willing to listen. :)

Truth is, that life - often - isn't pretty. I recently watched a movie which told the stories of many broken women. Their lives were full of some of the most grueling, detrimental forms of pain and heartache I have ever imagined. These women went on living their lives, broken and battered, alone. 

And well, though my life hasn't been through the battles that some of you have had to witness in your own lives, just the same, I have had my share of pain. This, is just how life goes.

I've been living in a country where to show pain or discomfort or even to publicly dislike something, is not culturally "ok". I'm surrounded by smiling faces but cold stares; thankful words - yet graceless eyes. I'm living in a land where to be transparent, can actually cause offense.  

And as I look around me, and take note of the fact that Japan has the highest suicide rate on the planet, it makes me wonder.

And wish, 

and pray,

and thank God, 

that I am, in fact, a broken pot. Shining brilliantly, in this grueling darkness that we call home. 

Because not only am I broken, but I am forgiven, forgiving, and healed.  And I long, so deeply, urgently, faithfully, that you, my dear and deeply special friend, that you can shine brightly, showing off your healed heart, too. 

Because if we patch up our holes and don't give people the chance to see that we're people too, 

how can we draw them to the light?

"In Him was life. And that life was the light of men." Jn 1:4

There's a part III coming. I bet you're just stoked. 

The Broken Pot (Part One)

Please picture this: 

There are two pots, and they’re both made of clay. 

One of them stands strong and firm, with no leaks or broken seams. Its color has not faded and from every angle, it seems sturdy and reliable.The other has cracks, and a decent-sized hole in one side. It’s broken and a little bit wilted, and kind of sad to look at. 

Now, put a lit candle in each, and place them in a dark room.

Which one sheds the most light?

I’ll write more on this later, and in the mean time, maybe it will give you something to think about.

Just a little update on my October. Wow, it's November already..

First, be aware how much I hate halloween. And then, know that I was asked by one of my student's families to their english halloween party they have in their tiny neighbourhood. Luckily, halloween isn't big here, at all, so it isn't about zombies and people hanging from things and all the darkness that comes along with halloween in Canada, so it was really just a fun little block party. I didn't want to pay for an elaborate costume, so I raided the church's costume supply - which I discovered is all made up of Christmas costumes, and settled on being a Christmas tree. I was glad to bring a little Christmas along to crash the halloween party ;) Some of the other costumes were absolutely hilarious, and all in all I had a lovely time. :)

The Franklin Graham Festival came and went, and it left me going "Well that was neat, but man oh man, do I ever need sleep.." Yeah, it was kinda crazy. But, as you'll see below, the place was packed out, so including all the volunteers who were running around, there were roughly 10,000 people there each night. And then, at the end of each night good ol' Franklin gave an alter call, and even though I'm not always too keen on alter calls, I can't deny that my eyes got a little misty as I watched the people pouring into the stadium to go and meet with God. :) I'd say there were 1000 people who went to the front each night, give or take a few. And even if but one person in the whole event truly understood what it was they were committing themselves to, well then, it was surely worth it. Thanks for all your prayers and support for this event!

Click on the link below, and then click on the video on the left of the page. Underneath it should appear many videos - one titled "Excitement Builds in Osaka". Click on it, and you'll see one of our teachers, Simon! It's random, but yeah. His lovely wife Machiko is part of the film crew for the Franklin Graham Festival - which is happening right now!- and they needed a driver, which ended up being Simon. Machiko's shy, so they chose him to be the spokesperson, haha. Well done, my friend. :P

http://www.billygraham.org/articlepage.asp?articleid=6346

Love is On the Move

Love is on the move

Revealing Heaven’s truth 

Love is on its way,

And it will find you.

“Oh, let’s go let’s go let’s go!” 

All it took was a little invitation, and this lovely little woman was brimming with excitement. 

Her name is Noriko, and she is one of my students from Kyoto. You should meet her, she’s just wonderful.

Another of my lovely students, Ryoko, seemed to be fighting back the tears at having been invited. We talk a lot about real-life issues and hurts and excitements, and I feel like God’s giving us both a chance to build a meaningful and needed friendship with one another. She’s such a blessing to me.

And then in one of my other classes, my four students invited me to go with them. And you’d better believe I felt a “little” excitement of my own. ;)

-You see, Franklin Graham is coming to town (and by town I mean Osaka City), and he’s bringing with him an incredible, unbelievable opportunity to let these wonderful Japanese students, and friends, of mine in on the love of Christ.

On another note: As I’ve been here for just about two months, I feel like I’ve been thrown into the biggest rat race known to man. Everyone around me seems to be the hardest-working person I’ve ever met, and it’s pretty much useless for me to try and keep up. 

And as I travel around and teach in homes, churches, and schools, I watch people. I watch their faces and their interactions, just looking for a glimpse of what it is that drives them. 

And then I think to myself, “Why am I even here?” 

Everything around me seems so backward, so contrary to the way that I think and the way that I do things - and honestly, sometimes I feel like maybe I got the wrong memo, got on the wrong plane, and flew to someone else’s destination. 

If you know me at all, maybe you know that I’m often the late-comer. The “Far-too-casual” or maybe even the naive country girl. Maybe you know me as someone who isn’t exactly...organized, or self-motivated. Sometimes I’m too easy-going for my own good, and I am TERRible at follow-through. 

Basically, I’m the complete opposite of every Japanese woman I know. Awesome.

But as we sat in the dorm having Bible study last night, Alma brought up some things that I really needed to be reminded of. 

In the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20)we’re called to go into all the world, baptizing, making disciples, and teaching everything that Jesus has commanded us to do (I know, that’s a pretty big package deal..and if you’re not “religious” and you’re reading this, I know..maybe this sounds like a crazy cult. But maybe if you read on, you’ll see a little better where I’m going with this). - But, one thing we are NOT called to do, is change people. I am not called to make converts or change an angry person into a friendly one. I’m not supposed to fix someone’s family problems or make an alcoholic give up the bottle. 

So I may not be very good at being Japanese or changing lives in the Japanese community, but God never said I had to be. I was called to go, so here I am. 

But you know, I’m not really a great english teacher, either. 

So then; “I made it to Japan, God. Now what?”

Well, it seems that even though I’m not the most culturally tactful person, and I can’t see that changing anytime soon (although I DID buy a life-organizer-book thing...I can’t think of the name? It’s got a calandar and you write important dates and memos in it, to keep your life organized...whatever those are called.) God still brought me here - so He must have a pretty good reason, right? Right. 

In the last part of the Great Commission, Jesus said to “Teach them everything I have commanded you”. And those words have really been eating at me, as I figure if I’m to teach everything Jesus has commanded, I’d better start learning that better myself. 

But then I remembered, that when one of the Pharisees asked Jesus what would be the greatest commandment, He said to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your mind", and to "love your neighbour as yourself.” (Mt. 22:37-39)

So why am I here? Because God told me to go.

What am I supposed to be doing now that I’m here? 

Love. 

Oh. Right. I’m remembering this now. 

So as I’ve been building friendships and learning about my student’s and co-worker’s lives and I’m truly learning to love them, I am doing exactly what God has asked me to do. I’m showing His love. His deep, unfathomable, unending, unreserved love - and in return, He’s changing hearts. He’s bringing people to the place where they can trust Him, a place where they can want Him to be their Father, Savior, and Friend. (Even when we can’t see it.)

I may not fit the bill of your average Japanese woman, or even your average Canadian woman. I don’t know all the right words or cultural cues, but I do know the One who breaks down cultural barriers and touches lives through the most unlikely of candidates.  So here I am in Japan, and there you are in...wherever you are... and it seems we’ve all got the same job description. So don’t feel discouraged, “...always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that the labour of the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15: 38b)

So if ever you think to yourself “Why am I even here?” The answer, my dear friend, is simple: Love. 

Love is on the move

Revealing Heaven’s truth 

Love is on its way,

And it will find you.

Anyone can run

Into the arms of God

Love is on its way

And it will find you.

  

The festival will be taking place on October 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. There are going to be thousands of people attending, and I can’t believe I get to be a part of it. God’s been working in the hearts of these students (and all who will attend) for many years, and I truly believe that He has been drawing each one specifically to come to this event. They will hear the Gospel - some of them for the first time - in their own language. I and many others would love for you to pray along with us for this event and for all who will be involved. 

Love

Is on

the Move.

<3

[Lyrics from “Love is on the Move” by Leeland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq7A46-WIhI ]

I don't know why, but my photo quality is really terrible now, when I try and upload. Can anyone tell me why? But, regradless, this is the class whom asked me to go with them to the crusade. :) I love this class, a lot. Beginner ladies - we laugh a lot, to say the least...

Trains and Change

Japanese women wear heels almost everywhere, and I wanted to give it a try. .. Well, by the end of my 5-hour trip my feet were experiencing death by blisters, and a guy was giving out free tissue packets on the street, and I made good use of his gift...
... and when I got off the train, I promptly removed my shoes of death, and biked home in bare feet. :-) ...Oops?

This is my busiest station, and generally once on the train, there's more people standing than sitting - and I'm usually one of them.
(Different train than mentioned above.)
With the amount of people I see asleep on the train - both sitting, and standing - I am convinced the Japanese have the ability to fall asleep absolutely anywhere - and they do it, too.


I kill a lot of time.

Seconds ago as my train came to a stop, I could hear the distinct ringing of the Danjiri drums. Subconsciously my foot began tap-tapping to the beat, and it brought excitement to my heart. Here I am, in busy, rapid-paced Japan, and it sounds like I’m in the middle of some distant tribal dance. The Danjiri festival has arrived in Osaka, and as the excitement is growing among my students, I can’t help but have some of it rub off on me. [The Festival will come to my city in a couple weeks, and I'll tell you all about it then.]

Lately I’ve been learning some pretty incredible - incredibly basic - things about my life. Things are different here - I’ve seen the growth that’s resulted from change, and the fear that’s come and gone with it. A lot of my time is spent on trains, and as I encounter so many new people, I’m learning how to trust, and I’m learning how to be skeptical when the time is right. Most people are just looking for a chance to talk to this young, smiley foreigner - even though they know very well that I have no clue what they’re saying - while others are just happy to have the chance to practice their english. I’ve gotta say, I quite love taking the train.

But you know, there’s a whole lot more to my life here than being a tourist. I spend time with real people, who have real lives full of pain, hope and every other feeling us Canadians seem to have. Go figure. And as I’ve been seeing that beyond my appearance - and I’m even beginning to blend in a bit - that we’re not so different after all, I've begun to feel a little insignificant. Japan has become a reality to me, and it's kind of a weird reality to face. I haven’t just popped in for a pleasant visit, but I’m here to live, and work, and eat, and clean, and do laundry, and just take part in all the normalcy’s of everyday life. - The honeymoon's over, as they say.
And so here I sit; It’s been nearly a month, and this is now, “life as I know it”. I was so looking forward to getting the chance to "really live" in some faraway land, and well.. here I am. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty great here, and I feel very blessed to be having this experience. But it seems that somewhere along the way I had forgotten that no matter the location of your suitcase, life is life. And life can be a pain. Change can be hard, and well, pretty much everything on this island has been a "change" for me.

Yesterday as I was concluding an email, I re-read all that I had written and realized that a lot of what I had said, was for me. Here's part of it:

“Keep your head up, you've only got a couple weeks left to fight the mundane and the normalcy that for now serves as your life, and then you will hop on a plane and nothing will ever be the same again. Funny how that works, isn't it? You leave things behind, and they change. And you change, and God grows you deeper and stronger and when you return, change is no longer scary, but good. So satisfyingly good. ‘Therefore He does not easily despair of others, but looks beyond sinfulness, willfulness, and stupidity, to the might of unchanging love.’
And then, I guess not everything is meant to change. ”

I proceeded to end my email there, with a smiley and my name.

Basically in all this, I'm just trying to say, that life isn't always what we thought it was going to be. Changes come and go, and it's a good thing! I've had quite a few changes in my life over the years, and my excursion to the Land of the Rising Sun took a lot of its birth from a desire to, for once, have my say in some of those changes. I wanted to put a pin on a map, that said "I lived in Japan for a year, and I grew up while I was there. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I, was in control, of that part of my life." ..yeah well, "eat your words, Susan. Eat them all up."

But like I said to my friend, (Which, by the way, I stole from a book) - "‘Therefore He does not easily despair of others, but looks beyond sinfulness, willfulness, and stupidity, to the might of unchanging love." - That's me, through and through. And it's okay, because I will always desire control over each phase of my life - that began with dear old Adam - and at the end of each struggle for control, God will still be God - and He will still have the unfathomable ability, and desire, even, to love this girl. I'm sinful, I'm willful, and often stupid. But, I am His. And well, that kind of cancels everything else out. All that really matters, is that I am in Christ, and He is in me, and we're walking through these difficult, much needed, often under-appreciated changes that inevitably, will, come.

So life will continue. I will get on and off many trains, see many new faces, do a lot more laundry, and make my way through a whole lot of changes yet to come. And at the end of every day, I can rejoice and be glad, because, as my good friend Robin Mark once said, "All my changes come from Him, He who never changes." As I said in my email, change will always happen, but some things just aren't meant to change. And luckily for us, God's love for us silly humans is one of those things.
Amen to that.

[The book I quoted is called "The Green Letters" by Miles J. Stanford, and the Robin Mark quote is from his song "All Is Well" from his Year of Grace album. I highly recommend them both. :) ]