The Broken Pot (Part One)

Please picture this: 

There are two pots, and they’re both made of clay. 

One of them stands strong and firm, with no leaks or broken seams. Its color has not faded and from every angle, it seems sturdy and reliable.The other has cracks, and a decent-sized hole in one side. It’s broken and a little bit wilted, and kind of sad to look at. 

Now, put a lit candle in each, and place them in a dark room.

Which one sheds the most light?

I’ll write more on this later, and in the mean time, maybe it will give you something to think about.

Just a little update on my October. Wow, it's November already..

First, be aware how much I hate halloween. And then, know that I was asked by one of my student's families to their english halloween party they have in their tiny neighbourhood. Luckily, halloween isn't big here, at all, so it isn't about zombies and people hanging from things and all the darkness that comes along with halloween in Canada, so it was really just a fun little block party. I didn't want to pay for an elaborate costume, so I raided the church's costume supply - which I discovered is all made up of Christmas costumes, and settled on being a Christmas tree. I was glad to bring a little Christmas along to crash the halloween party ;) Some of the other costumes were absolutely hilarious, and all in all I had a lovely time. :)

The Franklin Graham Festival came and went, and it left me going "Well that was neat, but man oh man, do I ever need sleep.." Yeah, it was kinda crazy. But, as you'll see below, the place was packed out, so including all the volunteers who were running around, there were roughly 10,000 people there each night. And then, at the end of each night good ol' Franklin gave an alter call, and even though I'm not always too keen on alter calls, I can't deny that my eyes got a little misty as I watched the people pouring into the stadium to go and meet with God. :) I'd say there were 1000 people who went to the front each night, give or take a few. And even if but one person in the whole event truly understood what it was they were committing themselves to, well then, it was surely worth it. Thanks for all your prayers and support for this event!

Click on the link below, and then click on the video on the left of the page. Underneath it should appear many videos - one titled "Excitement Builds in Osaka". Click on it, and you'll see one of our teachers, Simon! It's random, but yeah. His lovely wife Machiko is part of the film crew for the Franklin Graham Festival - which is happening right now!- and they needed a driver, which ended up being Simon. Machiko's shy, so they chose him to be the spokesperson, haha. Well done, my friend. :P

http://www.billygraham.org/articlepage.asp?articleid=6346

Love is On the Move

Love is on the move

Revealing Heaven’s truth 

Love is on its way,

And it will find you.

“Oh, let’s go let’s go let’s go!” 

All it took was a little invitation, and this lovely little woman was brimming with excitement. 

Her name is Noriko, and she is one of my students from Kyoto. You should meet her, she’s just wonderful.

Another of my lovely students, Ryoko, seemed to be fighting back the tears at having been invited. We talk a lot about real-life issues and hurts and excitements, and I feel like God’s giving us both a chance to build a meaningful and needed friendship with one another. She’s such a blessing to me.

And then in one of my other classes, my four students invited me to go with them. And you’d better believe I felt a “little” excitement of my own. ;)

-You see, Franklin Graham is coming to town (and by town I mean Osaka City), and he’s bringing with him an incredible, unbelievable opportunity to let these wonderful Japanese students, and friends, of mine in on the love of Christ.

On another note: As I’ve been here for just about two months, I feel like I’ve been thrown into the biggest rat race known to man. Everyone around me seems to be the hardest-working person I’ve ever met, and it’s pretty much useless for me to try and keep up. 

And as I travel around and teach in homes, churches, and schools, I watch people. I watch their faces and their interactions, just looking for a glimpse of what it is that drives them. 

And then I think to myself, “Why am I even here?” 

Everything around me seems so backward, so contrary to the way that I think and the way that I do things - and honestly, sometimes I feel like maybe I got the wrong memo, got on the wrong plane, and flew to someone else’s destination. 

If you know me at all, maybe you know that I’m often the late-comer. The “Far-too-casual” or maybe even the naive country girl. Maybe you know me as someone who isn’t exactly...organized, or self-motivated. Sometimes I’m too easy-going for my own good, and I am TERRible at follow-through. 

Basically, I’m the complete opposite of every Japanese woman I know. Awesome.

But as we sat in the dorm having Bible study last night, Alma brought up some things that I really needed to be reminded of. 

In the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20)we’re called to go into all the world, baptizing, making disciples, and teaching everything that Jesus has commanded us to do (I know, that’s a pretty big package deal..and if you’re not “religious” and you’re reading this, I know..maybe this sounds like a crazy cult. But maybe if you read on, you’ll see a little better where I’m going with this). - But, one thing we are NOT called to do, is change people. I am not called to make converts or change an angry person into a friendly one. I’m not supposed to fix someone’s family problems or make an alcoholic give up the bottle. 

So I may not be very good at being Japanese or changing lives in the Japanese community, but God never said I had to be. I was called to go, so here I am. 

But you know, I’m not really a great english teacher, either. 

So then; “I made it to Japan, God. Now what?”

Well, it seems that even though I’m not the most culturally tactful person, and I can’t see that changing anytime soon (although I DID buy a life-organizer-book thing...I can’t think of the name? It’s got a calandar and you write important dates and memos in it, to keep your life organized...whatever those are called.) God still brought me here - so He must have a pretty good reason, right? Right. 

In the last part of the Great Commission, Jesus said to “Teach them everything I have commanded you”. And those words have really been eating at me, as I figure if I’m to teach everything Jesus has commanded, I’d better start learning that better myself. 

But then I remembered, that when one of the Pharisees asked Jesus what would be the greatest commandment, He said to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your mind", and to "love your neighbour as yourself.” (Mt. 22:37-39)

So why am I here? Because God told me to go.

What am I supposed to be doing now that I’m here? 

Love. 

Oh. Right. I’m remembering this now. 

So as I’ve been building friendships and learning about my student’s and co-worker’s lives and I’m truly learning to love them, I am doing exactly what God has asked me to do. I’m showing His love. His deep, unfathomable, unending, unreserved love - and in return, He’s changing hearts. He’s bringing people to the place where they can trust Him, a place where they can want Him to be their Father, Savior, and Friend. (Even when we can’t see it.)

I may not fit the bill of your average Japanese woman, or even your average Canadian woman. I don’t know all the right words or cultural cues, but I do know the One who breaks down cultural barriers and touches lives through the most unlikely of candidates.  So here I am in Japan, and there you are in...wherever you are... and it seems we’ve all got the same job description. So don’t feel discouraged, “...always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that the labour of the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15: 38b)

So if ever you think to yourself “Why am I even here?” The answer, my dear friend, is simple: Love. 

Love is on the move

Revealing Heaven’s truth 

Love is on its way,

And it will find you.

Anyone can run

Into the arms of God

Love is on its way

And it will find you.

  

The festival will be taking place on October 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. There are going to be thousands of people attending, and I can’t believe I get to be a part of it. God’s been working in the hearts of these students (and all who will attend) for many years, and I truly believe that He has been drawing each one specifically to come to this event. They will hear the Gospel - some of them for the first time - in their own language. I and many others would love for you to pray along with us for this event and for all who will be involved. 

Love

Is on

the Move.

<3

[Lyrics from “Love is on the Move” by Leeland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq7A46-WIhI ]

I don't know why, but my photo quality is really terrible now, when I try and upload. Can anyone tell me why? But, regradless, this is the class whom asked me to go with them to the crusade. :) I love this class, a lot. Beginner ladies - we laugh a lot, to say the least...

Trains and Change

Japanese women wear heels almost everywhere, and I wanted to give it a try. .. Well, by the end of my 5-hour trip my feet were experiencing death by blisters, and a guy was giving out free tissue packets on the street, and I made good use of his gift...
... and when I got off the train, I promptly removed my shoes of death, and biked home in bare feet. :-) ...Oops?

This is my busiest station, and generally once on the train, there's more people standing than sitting - and I'm usually one of them.
(Different train than mentioned above.)
With the amount of people I see asleep on the train - both sitting, and standing - I am convinced the Japanese have the ability to fall asleep absolutely anywhere - and they do it, too.


I kill a lot of time.

Seconds ago as my train came to a stop, I could hear the distinct ringing of the Danjiri drums. Subconsciously my foot began tap-tapping to the beat, and it brought excitement to my heart. Here I am, in busy, rapid-paced Japan, and it sounds like I’m in the middle of some distant tribal dance. The Danjiri festival has arrived in Osaka, and as the excitement is growing among my students, I can’t help but have some of it rub off on me. [The Festival will come to my city in a couple weeks, and I'll tell you all about it then.]

Lately I’ve been learning some pretty incredible - incredibly basic - things about my life. Things are different here - I’ve seen the growth that’s resulted from change, and the fear that’s come and gone with it. A lot of my time is spent on trains, and as I encounter so many new people, I’m learning how to trust, and I’m learning how to be skeptical when the time is right. Most people are just looking for a chance to talk to this young, smiley foreigner - even though they know very well that I have no clue what they’re saying - while others are just happy to have the chance to practice their english. I’ve gotta say, I quite love taking the train.

But you know, there’s a whole lot more to my life here than being a tourist. I spend time with real people, who have real lives full of pain, hope and every other feeling us Canadians seem to have. Go figure. And as I’ve been seeing that beyond my appearance - and I’m even beginning to blend in a bit - that we’re not so different after all, I've begun to feel a little insignificant. Japan has become a reality to me, and it's kind of a weird reality to face. I haven’t just popped in for a pleasant visit, but I’m here to live, and work, and eat, and clean, and do laundry, and just take part in all the normalcy’s of everyday life. - The honeymoon's over, as they say.
And so here I sit; It’s been nearly a month, and this is now, “life as I know it”. I was so looking forward to getting the chance to "really live" in some faraway land, and well.. here I am. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty great here, and I feel very blessed to be having this experience. But it seems that somewhere along the way I had forgotten that no matter the location of your suitcase, life is life. And life can be a pain. Change can be hard, and well, pretty much everything on this island has been a "change" for me.

Yesterday as I was concluding an email, I re-read all that I had written and realized that a lot of what I had said, was for me. Here's part of it:

“Keep your head up, you've only got a couple weeks left to fight the mundane and the normalcy that for now serves as your life, and then you will hop on a plane and nothing will ever be the same again. Funny how that works, isn't it? You leave things behind, and they change. And you change, and God grows you deeper and stronger and when you return, change is no longer scary, but good. So satisfyingly good. ‘Therefore He does not easily despair of others, but looks beyond sinfulness, willfulness, and stupidity, to the might of unchanging love.’
And then, I guess not everything is meant to change. ”

I proceeded to end my email there, with a smiley and my name.

Basically in all this, I'm just trying to say, that life isn't always what we thought it was going to be. Changes come and go, and it's a good thing! I've had quite a few changes in my life over the years, and my excursion to the Land of the Rising Sun took a lot of its birth from a desire to, for once, have my say in some of those changes. I wanted to put a pin on a map, that said "I lived in Japan for a year, and I grew up while I was there. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I, was in control, of that part of my life." ..yeah well, "eat your words, Susan. Eat them all up."

But like I said to my friend, (Which, by the way, I stole from a book) - "‘Therefore He does not easily despair of others, but looks beyond sinfulness, willfulness, and stupidity, to the might of unchanging love." - That's me, through and through. And it's okay, because I will always desire control over each phase of my life - that began with dear old Adam - and at the end of each struggle for control, God will still be God - and He will still have the unfathomable ability, and desire, even, to love this girl. I'm sinful, I'm willful, and often stupid. But, I am His. And well, that kind of cancels everything else out. All that really matters, is that I am in Christ, and He is in me, and we're walking through these difficult, much needed, often under-appreciated changes that inevitably, will, come.

So life will continue. I will get on and off many trains, see many new faces, do a lot more laundry, and make my way through a whole lot of changes yet to come. And at the end of every day, I can rejoice and be glad, because, as my good friend Robin Mark once said, "All my changes come from Him, He who never changes." As I said in my email, change will always happen, but some things just aren't meant to change. And luckily for us, God's love for us silly humans is one of those things.
Amen to that.

[The book I quoted is called "The Green Letters" by Miles J. Stanford, and the Robin Mark quote is from his song "All Is Well" from his Year of Grace album. I highly recommend them both. :) ]

So, this has been a very busy week...

I am now taking the train to four of my locations, and so I'm getting a lot of ground covered. I love to watch out the window as I pass through all the different areas of this part of the Country, and it seems there's always something new to see. I'm looking forward to when I buy my new camera (crossing my fingers for October.. :) ) and then I can take pictures that will really do this place some justice. I'm making a prayer request page! It will be at the top of this screen, next to a tab that says "Home". Thanks!

So tired, after a very long day, a very long week...

Wow. today.

I wasn't sure if the multitude of thundering footsteps I heard were coming from my new class of kids, or the ones that just left. ..

So, today was ridiculous! This is how it went:

It all started when I was in the shower, thinking to myself "It's a good thing I only have to go next door to teach, so I have plenty of time to shower." and then, "NOO!! I TEACH AT KITASHINADA FIRST!!"...which happens to be, about a twenty minute bike ride away. So, the shower ended promptly. No, I did not condition - I barely brushed my teeth (We brush our teeth in the shower here, by the way. Though a bit strange at first, it turns out to be greatly convenient.) So, I spent about a minute getting ready, jumped on my bike, and off I went - panicked that on my first day to this far-away-church, I was going to be late. I biked and biked, and then..."This doesn't look right.." - I had only been there once before, and it was with Charis. So, it figures I got lost, right? At this point, I was ready to cry. I tried calling a few people, and couldn't get through. Figures. Finally, Simon picked up - and led me the right way. (Who knew cell phones were so convenient?..) I got there, and had a lovely couple of classes. Lunch Time! I needed to bike to the grocery store, and as I started out, it began to rain. I'd considered a few days ago, with all this biking we seem to do, "So what happens when it rains? That would be rather unfortunate if I didn't have an umbrella." Do I have an umbrella? No, no I don't. I biked back to get one - I couldn't figure out how to open it, but it had stopped raining by then - so I headed out again. Then it began to rain. Then it began to pour. Figures.

By the time I got inside the grocery store, I looked like I had just gotten into a pool to do a couple of leisurely laps, fully clothed. Awesome. I learned something new today: It can really rain here. Note to self: Invest in an umbrella.

Got back to Kitashinada, ate lunch, then biked up a gigantic hill to a kindergarten class. Was fun. Then, on my way home... "This doesn't look right." - Called Charis - found the right place, and a little while later... "This doesn't look right...Why am I at City Hall??" Called Charis again. Seems someone should have given me a little heads up, that the first day I get lost, it will happen THREE TIMES.

Finally made it home. Went to the post office, then back home, taught two more children's classes, (They were the ones I thought I had this morning.) ate supper, went to Appla, bought a new plant and my very own set of chop sticks.

That, my friends, was my day.

... :) ...

Emerging from the bamboo forest. ..This is down the road from my house. It's full of garbage and random stuff. I wanted to venture further, and as I began, a mouse or something that felt like a mouse, ran over my foot and I jumped onto a bamboo pole and hung on for dear life... Seems this venture requires proper footwear. Or a more courageous person.

These are in a random order, but we had a "family dinner" the other night with the ladies in the dorm and Charis..who is an honorary dorm member. lol. Korean, and Philippino-Chinese food. Awesome.
Very overgrown park down the road.

more dinner stuff. And my first plant I got! I'm going through a plant phase. Note to mom: When you come, bring an EPI pen..haha..

Giant cricket-thing Veronica killed in our dorm. His hind legs are still lying on the floor downstairs..

Japan, I love thee!

Veronica and Charis - Philippina's - V's b-day, wonderful women. They're a blessing.

Many streets look similar to this.
I find it hard to eat Canadian food now.
on my doorstep
view from my dorm window! I live with 3 other ladies. Love 'em.

I love Japan! I have been here now for one week, and I just really..I find it all so intriguing. I love the "newness" of it all. I'm sure there will be days when I wish things were more "Canadian", but today is just not that day! I have been getting settled in, learning different cultural things, trying to pick up on some of the language, and getting a feel for how classes work. - I start teaching tomorrow morning, and I'm pretty stoked. A little anxious, but stoked none the less. So..keep praying, my friends. God bless, and goodbye from my end of the ocean...

Waiting in Osaka Airport

I’m sitting in the Osaka Airport - one of them, at least. It’s about 4 or 5 AM back west, and I’m in a bit of a daze.

As we flew into Osaka, the city lights just kept on coming, and coming, and coming...heck, folks, this is one big city. But then, as I got off the plane and felt the instant moist heat of this foreign land, I said to myself, with a satisfied grin plastered on my face, “I’m home.” For this next year, this is my home. God has shipped me across a country, an ocean, and now across yet another country - and I took a little jump over Alaska along the way. I’m living back where the salt of the ocean can find its way back into my blood, culture like nothing I’ve ever known or imagined, is talking, and walking, and moving all around me. Yes, this is where I am to be.

I don’t know when my pick-up person will get here, but I figure they can’t really miss me - I’m the only white kid here. :)

12:18 AM

It's 12:18 AM. And as I'm about to fall asleep, it's scary. After I wake up, I will have one night before I head out on the first leg of my journey into the unknown. Some of you may know, or maybe this is the first time you're hearing about it, but I've had a rough year. There has been a lot of pain and a lot of confusion. A lot of doubts and misundestandings, and I've just experienced a lot of things that I hope and pray were a one-time thing. But you know, I'm reading the book of Joel. I just read the introduction last night, and tonight I read the first couple chapters. The whole story is of a man who's watched his country destroyed by locusts and possible drought. The people are hungry and thirsty, the animals are moaning for the loss of their pasturelands, and the people are just in an alltime state of hopelessness. Ouch. But as I've read on a bit, the tables turn - things change, when God answers. This is a big deal! GOD answers. He sees the pain, the dry and thirsty land, and offers hope for a change. I feel like He's talking to me. I've been dreading Japan, in ways, because I know in the pit of my stomach...this year is going to be hard. One of the hardest, in fact, that I'm going to have to face. And as I've been looking back at this past year, it leaves me uttering "why, God, must this continue on? Why am I constantly needing to learn things the hard way?" and the thing is, I don't. Even though this past year was hard, God heard my cry. And now, as I look back and truly consider the past, I can't help but feel the corners of my mouth turn up in a smile. Things have been hard, but God has poured down His blessings in such real, tangible ways - He gave me you. I have a hard time knowing how to let people go, and as I've been leaving Bible school I'm torn between the excitment of growing up, and the bitter sad of leaving people behind whom I've loved and have loved me. I love you, and am so thankful for the love you have poured back in return! Thankyou for being there when things were so dry in so many ways. I feel like when I wake up on Monday and prepare to fly out, I'm leaving behind some pretty crucial things - and one of those things, as God promised His people in Joel, is a dry and desolate land. I needed that place, to see where I really stand. I am so week, so feeble, in reality. But I am so blessed, so honored, to be remembered by our Dear and Holy Father, and He's the one who's taking me away from the past. He's grasping my hands, proclaiming "Fly, Susan. Fly into the unknown and feel the wings of change and growth!"...so that's just what I'm doing. - With fear, trembling, but a hop in my step, I, am taking flight. :)

"Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees..." - Hebrews 12:12 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Rodent Girl

There is a little girl whom I have taken to calling Rodent Girl. I won't mention her name, just in case she learns to read one day and might find reason to doubt my love for her. She's a monster sometimes, a downright monster. But when she's not a monster, she is one of the most adorable human beings I've ever met. She has bouncy, dark curls and a round baby-doll face. She is four.

One day at lunchtime, she asked for more milk. We only serve milk once, then water after that - so I said no. She proceeded to scream at me, demanding that I give up my menacing ways and hand over her well-deserved milk (She used slightly different words, of course). I bent down so I could look her in the eye, and tried to talk things through. She slapped me in the face. I grabbed her hand, and she proceeded to slap me with the other one. I grabbed that hand, and of course, stupid me, she began to kick me. ... Hence the birth of the name, "Rodent Girl". Well deserved, non?

It seems to me, that as I am working with toddlers, I am faced with the bruit force of what human beings are naturally inclined to do. Unlike us "educated" folk, preschoolers haven't yet learned to cover up their character - they haven't yet learned to mask their sin. Little boys scream in my face, demanding that I hold their hand. I try and understand why a child would expect me to want to even be in the same room as them, while they're screaming at me, but, this, is the human nature. Little children only wish to serve themselves - and even though us adults have learned to pretend otherwise, last I heard, we were little children once, too.

The other day I was reading in ...Okay, I can't remember which one, but it was in one of the Gospels - I think Luke. I came to a parable that Jesus was telling, and I didn't quite understand how it applied to me. Jesus asked the people, if a servant came in from working all day and began demanding that his master begin waiting on him, would that be right? Well, I didn't get it. So the next day as I was reading, I came to the story again... and, it hit me.

I am a servant of God - not the other way around.

It seems I'd gotten into the habit of asking God for things constantly - it says in God's word that we should be paraying and asking God for things all the time, but still - that's different than what I've been doing. When the paperwork that would enable me to go to Japan wasn't working out, I was upset with God that He wasn't making things go more smoothly. I was frustrated that things were not going accoring to my plan, that God wasn't doing as I had asked of Him, and I even felt justified in my feelings. Eeesh...shame, much?

Another day this week, I was writing each kid's name on their craft in a bright blue marker. Rodent Girl asked so sweetly if she could write her own name (even though we both very well knew she doesn't know how) and so, once again, stupid me, I said yes. She took the marker from my hand, and with a menacing grin, jumped up, and ran away from the table. I followed, and as I got close, she turned around, and with a giggle, proudly drew two lovely lines on my jeans. Thanks a lot, Rodent Girl.

It seems to me, though, that I am Rodent Girl. And, well, so are you.

God has incredible, magnificent, infalliable, perfect plans for each part of my life. Yet, every once in a while, I decide that I can play God's role in my life, and I "ask" Him if I can give His plans a try. He very lovingly allows me to. ...and I don't think I have to elaborate on how that story ends. God and I both know that I am not even the least bit capable of spelling my own name - of playing out my own fate - but I only think about me. I am human, I am but a small child, trying to do things the way I think is best for me. I, am rodent girl. ...and when I screw up, sometimes I even scream at God, demanding why He isn't there, holding my hand.

(The truth is, God is there. I just pushed Him out of my sight. So don't think God isn't there when you're screaming at Him, either. He's better than we are at holding tightly to His spoiled children.)

In You, O Lord, I have taken refuge;

let me never be put to shame.

Rescue me and deliver me in Your

righteousness;

turn Your ear to me

and save me.

Be my rock of refuge

to which I can always go

...for You are my rock and my fortress.

..For You have been my Hope,

O Sovereign Lord,

my confidence since my youth.

From birth I have relied on You;

You brought me forth from my mother's womb.

I will ever praise You.

Psalm 71:1-6

Photos.

Let the morning bring word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You.

let everything that has breath, praise the LORD.

the sun is beautiful, even in a worn out, family cottage.